te amo mas hoy que ayer....

When i walked into the break room i saw him filling out an application. He looked up, i said hello, in his broken english he replied "alo". I got my tea and went back to my desk. I saw miguel, the shipping and handling manager, a few minutes later.

"Miguelito, quien es? (Who is that?)"
"Some guy applying for the warehouse. Why?"
"Just asking."
Miguel laughed.

I was one of only a few natural born english speaking employees, so i got a chance to practice my spanish and even learned a lil russian. But miguel, who i called my hermanoso (big brother) always tried to make me speak in strictly spanish. So when i met juancarlos it came in handy since he had just moved to newark from puerto rico. Because i worked in the main office and the shipping dept i would see him regularly. We always got to work about the same time and had lunch with each other and the other workers a few times. Because we were both younger than most of the other workers they always tried to get us together and tease us saying we were esposos (married).

One day i was typing up shipping labels and he came into the room. The door was already closed but he kept looking out the window. I asked him what was wrong with him. And he asked for miguel. "Hes in the warehouse i think." Juancarlos left and miguel came in a few minutes later. Laughing. "Que pasa miguelito?" He was laughing so hard he was red. "Shanita, u got an admirer!" "Who? And why is that so funny???" "Porque he no want to tell you. He's... .como se dice? Shy." "Shy? Who? Juanito?" Now im laughing. At the time i was 5'7" about 185lbs. Juancarlos was about 5'3" maybe 135lbs!!! Just the visual alone was hilarious.

Eventually Juancarlos came back into the office. Again i was alone, he sits up on the desk and smiles at me. "What?" I tried to sound aggravated but he was just so cute, even cuter now that i knew he liked me. He proceeded to tell me in spanglish (a mix of english and spanish) about his crush. "I had a dream about u. U were dancing for me. U looked so nice. Then we kissed and i woke up." I wanted to make sure i understood him correctly. So i repeated it back to him. I heard him right. We both just started laughing. A few days later it was raining and juanito asked me for a ride home. Of course miguel and another worker were standing there watching.

I pull up to his house in my honda and my hand is resting on the gear shift. He places his hand on top of mine and says to me in spanish "the way u hold this i want u to hold something else." Oh really! He leaned over and kissed me. It just felt right. Never mind that i had a boyfriend, never mind that he had a wife back in PR. At that moment, and every moment after he was mine and i was his.

We continued our affair for a few months,sneaking off at lunch, spending saturdays together, naively thinking it was our lil secret. One day he called and told me he was moving with his brother in georgia. My heart stopped. His last day at work he came into my office. "Mi amor, ya me voy" that was it.

Months went by without a word from him. Then one day the phone rang. "Hola mi amor." My face lit up. Then i had to tell him i was pregnant...