My life

I had a dream that I hit the lottery
Only to awake to life
Kids screaming, mother nagging, egos and condescending comments
I go to work to escape life
I think I'm an alcoholic
It's 10am I got vodka in my coffee
I cry way too much
Tired of stuffing the holes in my shoes
Tired of sleeping in cars
Tired of downgrading my morals
Tired of working too hard
Tired of dodging bill collectors
Tired of financially absent baby father's
Tired of struggling
Don't ask why I drink
Ask why I haven't killed myself yet
A handful of percs
That should do it, a lil ciroc as a chaser
But what about my boys?
they're the only reason I'm here
The reason I fight
The reason why I woke up from that lottery dream
But what good is thanking God for life if u don't want it