Dear Bean....

I was in Newark thinking about you today. I can't belive it's been 17 yrs since you've gone! I remember the day ma called me at work and said "bean's gone." it's like my world crashed. I couldn't believe it. Only a kid, hard headed and stubborn. I was so mad at you, why didn't you just listen? I can't even imagine how ur moms felt, having to go thru ur stuff afterwards. I went to the wake but I couldn't take it. I stayed home the day of the funeral getting fucked up. Just remembering you. Being chased by geese lmao member that? Remember when were playing outside and somebody called the cops cuz they thought you were a grown ass man chasing some girls down the street? Lmao yo remember that dude I was messing with that you told me was cheating? You told me I could do better, I shoulda listened to you. Remember you used to always have that pacifier around your neck? Lol bugging! So many memories... I miss you so much! Sometimes I still wanna pick up the phone and call you, then I put it down and start crying cuz u not here. But I know you watching over us. Kevin's a grown man now with his own family. The first time I saw his son I smiled cuz your nephew looks just like you. I know if you were here so much stuff woulda never happened to me. But u went home and I tripped, started doing shit I had no business doing. No one ever replaced you. No one ever will. I just had to write you this letter, for no particular reason, except I miss you. My brother, my cousin, my friend. I love you Bean!


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